One Month Down
DON'T THINK ABOUT MAKING ART, JUST GET IT DONE. LET EVERYONE ELSE DECIDE IF IT'S GOOD OR BAD, WHETHER THEY LOVE IT OR HATE IT. WHILE THEY ARE DECIDING, MAKE EVEN MORE ART. - ANDY WARHOL
So it's one month down, and here I am in bed with my laptop resting on my belly and a mountain of pillows stacked behind my back and neck.
I have no idea what to write. To say I have been creatively and mentally blocked since coming to Paris would be an understatement.
I really want to get my creative juices going but every time I try my brain just puts up this big mental block and tells me to go fuck myself.
It’s not Paris, I love it here! And I haven’t had much home sickness thanks to living with my friend and being able to Skype home.
I'm not really sure how to fix it, I’ve gone for walks, read, done daily shitty drawings, done life drawing sessions, cooked to try and feel like at least I am creating something.
I’ve even had moments here in Paris were I have felt inspired and what I guess is pure happiness but when I pick up a pen and paper NOTHING!! And all that inspiration and joy turns in to self-loathing.
These last 4 weeks in Paris have flown by and honestly the only memories that stand out are the ones I took Instagram photos of. And of course our 3 trips to IKEA which for my sanity I shall discuss in a future post, mainly to warn any other expats not to make the same mistakes we did.
Ok so it doesn't help that before I left Australia I had wrecked myself packing up my life and stressing about moving here. And for my first week I had a really bad chest cold that knocked me flat for almost 2 weeks.
Sorry if this post sounds all negative, I really am glad I am here in Paris and I know that eventually if I keep putting in the effort my creative block will pass.
I just really needed something to write about and my PMDD symptoms do not help with making me feel good about it all right at this time.
So that is one month down 11 more to go. The year is going to be so fast I can feel it but I would not want to be anywhere else.
Next post will be a lot more positive but not going to lie, there will be future posts that might be worst then this. I want to keep it real, more so that future Jarra can look back at this and laugh at how stupid I am.
